Month: March 2015

The Ending

My head aches, my heart hurts, there’s a pain in my center like a brutally cold frozen winter.

You’re hit or miss, up and down, am I friend or foe, will you stay or will you go.

So hard to read, so closed at times, I doubt my sanity while following blind.

Patting the puppy expect to be bitten, especially given how thinly your disdain and ridicule are hidden.

Not the country bumpkin seen at first glance, there’s a strong bullshit meter built in with a temper to match.

My wall has been hit, my line crossed, no more dances left in the game it seems I’ve lost.

Respect gone if ever there, amazing to me how cold one can be and still say they care.

It’s a two way street of give and take, now sideways made one way and totally, completely, heartbreakingly fake.

Open and honest, supportive and kind only to watch you toss it away leaving it behind.

You asked so much, giving nothing in return, leaving it all to crumble and our bridge to burn.

Patting this puppy and you got bitten, for I see it all now, your disdain and ridicule were never truly hidden.

I let you go, set you free to find, your happiness the likes I can’t provide.

I wish you well, I do you see, for even with the saddest of hearts and a sea of tears cruelty is just simply not a part of what makes me, ME………………………H

 

A canvas like no other

The sky to me is magic; pure honest magic. A place I have been painting and drawing my whole life. When things go sideways, which they often do, all I have to do is step outside and look up to find my way back to my normal. Whether staying up to the wee morning hours staring at the magical, sparkling, winking in mischief the starry night……..imageLooking for new clusters, new designs, new patterns, or finding my old tried and true ones peace is always found.

imageEnergy raw pure intense energy surges of power vibrating in the very breath around you. The storm clouds bring promise of change sometimes good sometimes bad but always change. A rebirth in a way because no matter how strong or how soft the storm might be the soft patter of drops or a gnarly rush of rain a cleansing always follows. Washing the soil, the plants, animals, structures, people, and the earth anew.

There is a calm, a peace that settles deep in one’s center at the magic show playing out in front of the eyes; all in slow motion so as not to miss a moment of the action. Each sense coming alive reaching out searching trying to touch, to take hold, flourishing at the gentle scenes rolling by. Often making the observer slow down and see truly open their eyes and really look around, possibly seeing for the first time or possibly slipping into a familiar comfortable seat from years past. image

However or whenever it happens flying free, soaring high, exploring all……always a gift to be thankful for, cherished, used, and hopefully shared. So paint away, dream on, and create as you wish……………………..H

Letting Go

You love me, shake me to my core, only to turn away and love me no more. I hold you with these weathered hands, watching as you slowly slip through them like grains from the soft glistening sand. Floating away on the wink of light you give just before saying goodnight. I’ll wait in the cold with the moon above, waiting for that first kiss of day, to search anew for my elusive golden love.

 Sun down sun low golden waves crashing into the shore…………H

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Down and Dirty

imageWhat is it about playing in the dirt that makes everything fade away!? The smell- damp musty sweet decay of the soil takes me to a calm relaxed place; where it’s just me and nature getting down and dirty playing having a ball! Sinking my hands deep into the soil, feeling the soft lightly squishy yet silky grains slide over my hands and fingers brings me an almost sureal kind of peace. The simple yet dedicated act of placing the rocks, soil, plant, then more soil and food is a process that gives clarity without thinking.

imageTucking, patting, placing the plant all snug in it’s new home, promising to care for it with love and appreciation, I step back and see the beauty that we, the plant and I, have made. Beauty that will give me a smile each and every time I stare out and see how it’s flourishing, growing big and tall, alive and breathing just like me. Sounds lame to some I know, but the healing given as well as received is priceless to me. It is the adult version of playing in the sand box, playing in the mud, and for me making mud pies like I did when I was young. It is the act of playing that brings rewards and joy for a very long time to come. Ha play time that never ends…….. Yeah I like that because when I look out and see the progress made it makes me stand a little taller, smile a little wider, laugh a little happier. Not to mention it makes the back porch a lovely place to be! Grow be fat and healthy my new little gem 😉 you let me see the beauty in playing like a child again………H